Always in Transition, Yet Suddenly in Transition

The past month has been a slow one for me because it's officially somewhere around a month since I graduated with my B.A. and I am now back home in Modesto, California living with my parents.

I don't have any sort of need to rebel or assert my independence here, or any of that nonsense. I just can't help but sometimes feel this sort of frustration with not having made any concrete, socially acceptable progress towards my goals in life. It's frustrating because I am here at home and I try to make myself useful, but not having a job really puts a hamper on my own self-worth for whatever reason. I won't go into the problems I have with that idea and mindset, but I know enough to push it down and away simply because it's wrong.

I keep telling myself it's gonna take time to make progress toward my career and life goals and so for the meantime I should just be patient and just keep looking. However, the job market in Modesto, Stanislaus County, and the Central Valley in general is pretty dismal, and Modesto is one of the bigger cities. I just wanted a decent paying job so I can save up while pursuing my own goals, which initially are going to have to exist outside my 9 to 5. Nevertheless, I decided my best option is probably just to begin developing and pursuing my career in education.

So for now, I am going to be studying up to take the CBEST this weekend, which is a test in which passage is needed in order to become a substitute teacher in the state of California. That was a weirdly phrased sentence.

I'm hoping I kick some booty on it because as of the plans I currently have, it is going to take a while for me to earn a doctorate in education. That is one of my dreams, and I plan to make it a reality. I just hadn't thought I was going to be pursuing it this soon. I hope I do well in getting myself on track to where I want to be. I am very thankful to my parents for all the support and love they give me, and I love them back for it!

It's hard to be in this transitional moment in life. I know I could get a minimum wage job no problem, but I went to college for a reason and want to start working on things I want to do in life.

So what's the current plan? I'm looking to work on the CBEST and CSET to prepare for a credential program at a local university. I am applying for the Spring of 2010, and with that I can start my career in education and get some experience before going back to school. I really am excited and nervous at the same time. I hadn't planned to go back to school this soon, but if it's what life calls for then so be it. Plans need to be flexible, right?